Monday, November 23, 2015

The Fight to Forgive


Augustine said you cannot truly pray until you "account yourself desolate in the world." I would argue that this also applies to forgiving others. As my view of myself shifts to encounter and embrace my helplessness before an almighty God, I find that the fight to forgive is one I can engage and win more often. Each morning I pray through the Lord's Prayer and say these words, "forgive us our debts AS WE forgive our debtors." I am asking for the humility to come into the joy of forgiveness. I'm asking for confession to produce an increased confidence and joy in my life. I'm seeking radical forgiveness from God SO THAT I am able to forgive and seek the GOOD of those who have wronged me. This type of forgiveness has shaken me to my core and my pride bows down before it. This is not the natural inclination of man, so I know I'm going to have to fight for it.

I believe God calls us to wade into the pain of our lives- and forgive. I can testify that staying on the shore and pretending like the water doesn't exist leads only to more pain and suffering for yourself and those you love. Numbing, or on the other extreme- raging, passes the pain along like a log gaining momentum when flung into a river. I have read, and I agree, that unless you take your pain to the Cross, it gets passed along. And taking your pain to the Cross hurts. It involves tears and suffering and intense pain. But it is the path to God. He loves the humble of heart and He is a King of Forgiveness.

"Sometimes forgiveness involves going back and reliving histories again and again until I'm able to release all wrongs wrought by the frail humanity of others. I'm called to relive the pain, master it, forgive it all. The act of true, Christ-based forgiveness is an extension of love. It is seeing the accuser as a human, as one who acted from his own broken understanding of the world, who just did the best he knew how. True, Godward forgiveness is the extension of unmitigated grace, the adoption of the prayerful hope that our enemies might receive no suffering from their imputation of suffering; it is the hope that they find a better hope." (from the book Coming Clean.

How ironic that the best medicine for the pain is to turn and extend the forgiveness of Christ! To release all hope for a better past and accept what was. To bend my will around the truth, around Reality. The fight to forgive is a letting go, followed by another and another. And I must learn to keep at it.

Holy Father, keep me low and humble and grant me grace to forgive and heal. Let the pain end at the Cross. Give those in my life grace to forgive me and to bear with my weaknesses.

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