Wednesday, June 23, 2010

5 months ago



Five months ago I had never seen you smile. I didn't know what your hungry cry sounded like. Making you laugh wasn't my favorite past-time. My time didn't belong to you. I could eat a sandwich without taking 5 breaks. I never ran around the house to get things done. I hadn't ever given you one kiss. You didn't know how to roll over or touch your feet. Your two bottom teeth where still tucked away beneath your gums.

Five months ago I thought I knew what being a mother was, but I had no clue what I was about to enter into. This little man demands my all--and I want to give it to him--he aks me to lay down my own desires for his, twenty-four hours a day. But when he opens his mouth to let me know that he wants to give his momma a wet, sloppy kiss, my heart melts into a thousand pieces. Sometimes we just stare at each other and smile or laugh.

Five months ago I didn't know that God loves me in the same way that I do now. I long for him in ways I couldn't imagine five months ago. Because this all-encompassing, never-ending, joy-filled, heart-wrenching thing we call motherhood pushes me into the arms of my heavenly Father to know him--not asking for anthing else besides Him. And He's everything.